Free To Find Pearls
Free To Find Pearls is a place where we gather together to listen to our souls speaking and reaching out; reclaiming our pearls of wisdom, truth, serenity, and love. — a place where that longing to return to our authentic self can be fulfilled as we journey through life.
Intuitive Counselor & Spiritual Practitioner
Kolein Velvette Carlson
Ordained Minister Universalist Life Church
Licensed in SOUL Clinic Counseling
Duality creates separation. God/Spirit/Truth, being separate and apart from ourselves, causes inner and outer turmoil. God within is the miracle. Spirit within. Truth within. These are the miracles. However, this can be profoundly frightening for many people. That’s very understandable. The majority of us have be taught that God is outside, dangling overhead or sitting on a throne pointing or even loving us, but from afar, meaning we need to do something to get to Him. We hear and read the words, “God within,” but don’t pay attention to them when they speak to us. We think with our head, our ego, our past, our fears, our anger. We think we understand. Our thinking is what created the division, the separation. We’ve been malnourished in our spirituality – given crumbs. It’s not completely our fault. Who fed you? Who was the first person to teach you about God, the spirit, the truth? Usually the answer is some form or interpretation of religious teachings. More crumbs.
Our heart is where the answer is – our intuition is truly our guide – that still small voice gives us the accurate direction. How do we come to trust that? Pay attention to it? Let alone hear it?
Begin by remembering who first taught you about Love? What did that feel like, look like? Was there a clock in the room, ticking away? Or were you free to be who you are, in the moment? That is what true Love is. There is no separation. You are one with it. You are one with the person or situation or teaching or guide. You are not only one with Love, you have literally become it. But not because you decided to join with it (duality) but because you are it. YOU ARE LOVE.
FreeToFindPearls is a place where these ideas are uncovered and healing happens.
I was born a spiritually gifted child. This has been the way for me my entire life. The struggle is very real in a world of duality. My inner and outer turmoil was constant. Until a life altering (this is usually what occurs) situation threw me into the abyss. Everything I was taught to believe in was a lie. Everything I valued was stripped away. It felt as though I was losing myself. And I was. And I did.
At about seven years old my mother began noticing my gifts. She didn’t know they were gifts at the time. I sat in front of a panel of priests and nuns who were lovingly asking me questions about what I saw, what I heard, etc. I remember the dark gray concrete floor. It was cold. I wondered where God was. Until a beautiful nun took me off into another room and asked me questions while I drew pictures for her . I didn’t know what a nun was. She told me she was married to God. After that day, without telling anyone, I wanted to become what she was – a nun. I wanted to marry God. She was one of the most loving people I had ever laid eyes on – no clock in the room, free to be myself, one with love. The church hierarchy concluded I was gifted and should study catechism and sent us on our way. We were Catholics for about 5 more minutes.
For the next 43 years of my life of duality I suffered. The separation from our true selves is excruciating. Fear and anger, confusion and disillusionment, no clear direction, physical and verbal abuse by others, a constant state of disharmony – within and without. Always feeling less than or greater than in life is so painful for oneself and everyone around us. No one could help me. I couldn’t help myself.
However, along the way there were signs and trail markers. There always are. As I tried climbing out of the abyss at 50 years old, I followed those markers back to my true self.
